A friend observed to me today that though one or both parties in a marriage feels like he or she is not in love anymore, that doesn’t mean the marriage is over. There are no convenient excuses to make this true. Marriage is ’till death do us part’ and a lack of the warm fuzzies does not change that fact.
The trouble is, we all get our times in marriage when it seems that it might as well be over. If this hasn’t happened to you, then be forewarned. Your time hasn’t arrived yet. I predict that every Christian couple will face moments of “truth” that seem like love is gone. We are human and we live in a fallen world. It happens.
But this is not the time to panic. This IS the time to get out commitment and use it as we promised at the honeymoon beginning. Commitment is much more useful than romance at these times. Commitment builds bridges. Commitment overlooks impossibilities and focuses on truth. Commitment lets us DECIDE to love even when it does not feel doable.
The same principle goes for families and churches. Think about your family or church. Is everybody in your life making it easy to love? Are you? Anybody in your life multiplying the negatives? Let us not miss our cues. Now is the time to praise the good things and encourage each other. In other words, now is the time to be committed.
We should know the difference between real problems and plain, old, life-happens stuff. Things like young people coming home from VS work or Bible school and complaining because home and church home are boring and lonely. Sorry youth, that issue is as old as families and churches. The cure for it is commitment. Go ahead, roll up your sleeves, change your world, but please do not whine. This is what the home bodies have been working on the whole time you were gone.
It is nice to know that just as negatives and complaints tend to snowball and get themselves magnified; happy attitudes and love will cover a multitude is sins. So, go away, you calamitous thoughts and attitudes. Life is too precious to waste.
My dad often tells us to live above it. I really appreciate this advice. Living above mulling over negatives takes courage and fortitude (stick-to-it-iveness). Living above the things of this life that WILL happen to pull us down, is like paddling upstream. And it is tiring. But I take heart in what Jesus said.”Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”