Clouds and Sun

  May is almost over. We have had a whole May of clouds and rain and not much sun. We have green grass and leaves, but even the greenery seems slightly yellow for lack of sunshine. And I’m still having small fires in the stoves almost daily, because it’s damp and chilly. I don’t mean to complain, just keeping a record. No doubt, next May will be different. We never know how Wisconsin will dish up spring to us.
    Gabe and Jenny came to see Lance and Kristine’s baby and for Lance and Jenny’s birthday. That counts as sunshine, rain or shine.
     Gabe made a fire pit of a few of our leftover stone house materials in the back yard. We broke it in the same evening, a success by everyone’s viewpoint.
    Happy family times happened in this back yard for many years. We had moved all that to the patio in front for a couple of years. It’s good to be back here again. “Bring meat to grill and bread to match. Elv’s cooking.” That’s our standard backyard slogan.

     The subject of prayer is fraught with guilt and supposed failure for us girls no matter what stage of life we are in. We are either truly too busy to get it done right (whatever that is), or we don’t dare shut the closet door and lose touch with the reality of babies and toddlers or even teens. It’s just hard to feel good about our “prayer life”.  I think someone ought to insert some sanity about that.
    Prayer is having a relationship with God through Jesus. The practical outworking of that is being thankful for things or sorry about something or burdened about events/plans/needs/people and telling God about all of the above from where ever we are at the moment. It could include knee time and quiet time and frantic times. It is also those times of meeting with others for the purpose of praying together over a mutual interest or need. But mostly it is anytime and all the time, that open line between a needy me and a loving Father who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not.
     I believe that feelings and words and worries inside of our hearts are actually coming up to our Father as prayer before we are even consciously praying. He knows our hearts and He knows what we need and I believe that He put the longings and desires into our hearts for the purpose of providing those needs. I wonder if the disconnect is our blindness and busyness. We fail to feel like we’ve prayed because we are too preoccupied with our guilt and static to even notice what God is already doing. Romans 8: 26 says this:  Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
     Jesus also said we should ask, seek and knock. Maybe what we are messed up about is where we have our focus. A child who asks for food is pretty well focused on a personal need and to fill it. He goes to the only place he knows and seeks it and exerts all of his efforts on this project of getting food. Besides he isn’t quiet about it. There’s no questioning going on about worthiness or self analysis to discern whether he deserves it or not. As a mother, you don’t wait around to answer this need until the baby is praying correctly or in the right attitude or position or place. Jesus said that God doesn’t do that either. He knows perfectly what we need. He wants us to ask, seek, and knock.

3 thoughts on “Clouds and Sun”

  1. This speaks to my need right now. I don't have children, but I often have busyness of my own. Guilt is never very helpful is it? Unless it's the Holy Spirit convicting sort of guilt. But too often our guilt is a vague pointless unpinnable feeling of not being good enough. I love the thought that just our desires and needs are prayers in themselves. Thank you.


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