Which title makes me smile. Everyone loves a personal testimony. It’s truly a little mental journey of mine involving my need to overcome and get over myself complete with my own “come to Jesus moment”. And like any other testimony, you get to take it or leave as you like. I doubt I’ll make many converts on this one, but I am okay with that.
Once upon a time, not so long ago we lived for about eight months, over winter, at the cabin. Even though it’s off grid, (think, outdoor toilet but generator and running water), even so, we enjoyed it from bird watching to wood heat, and being tucked in the woods of the North. (There’s so much fun in the word “North”, but only if you think so.) We learned a lot that winter about quiet living, probably too quiet. It was a great place to be when our little church band had to be dispersed and absorbed into other churches around us. We didn’t die; we survived. Thanks be to God for that haven/opportunity. In April of 2021, we were obliged to move back down to Wisconsin for work and less mud.
Ever since, Elv has wanted to do that again, without the other baggage. I liked the idea, too, for all the same reasons: it’s on a dead end road, and private, and woods. However, I’m a people pleaser, and we have grown children and grandkids who don’t want to have to travel two and a half hours to visit us. And whatever other wisdoms, we taught them, by the way, saying we really should not live so far from church and so forth. And I kept reminding Elv that we should probably not move up there for these reasons. So we’ve been enjoying the cabin three or four weekends each summer and fall, instead.
Elv has been patient with my foibles and doubts. He hasn’t been pushy at all. I reckon he prayed about it. Finally, I realized that he’s been working faithfully for over forty years with few vacations. Every day, he does the right thing and does what good people do. By now though, he’s starting to think more often about wanting to live in the woods.
And I fearfully linger along the shores of “safety” and the familiar because of what the kids and our friends will think.
The truth is, I am first of all my husband’s person and he’s mine. Mine to be tandem with. He’s my friend. It’s the two of us who live here these days. Some people call it the empty nester phase. Which is a serious misnomer for our stage in life. So many friends and events and family and grandkids in our lives. And we love it all.
But the truth is, we are still two people taking care of each other and when one of us seeks an adventure; the other one should step up. Why am I dragging my feet about this? Why do I think that I know better what we ought to do with our lives. Why does it even matter? When am I going to begin to let/help this hard working person in my life, my person, finally get his well earned break? Who do I think I am? When am I going to recognize the richness of having a place for him to finally do what he really wants to do? It’s not even like he’s wanting to live there long term.
I’m glad to be able to say that I get to help Elv and be his person and join his adventures that he’s worked so hard to attain. I will get over myself and love it, too.
Stone House Scribblings 